Getting Yanked Around

Dear Bitter Single Guy: Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years. We have just recently broken up because she says she needs to spend more time with people in her age group since were 6 yrs apart. But she constantly still sends me messages and calls me telling me how much she loves and misses me. So now I'm confused! Recently I have meet a new friend that I've been spending time with, and of course when my ex found out about this new person she asked me to get back together with her, but that never happened because she changed her mind again! Bitter Single Guy should I stick around and hope that maybe we'll get back together or should I just continue to move on? -- Getting Yanked Around

Dear GYA: The Bitter Single Guy can say without hesitation that you're a tool (note the category he put you in). In summary, the BSG gets that this delicate flower dumped you because she wanted more friend time (meaning also that she saw no future with you) but she continues to send you messages, tell you she misses you, and gets jealous when you meet someone new?

Don't be this girl's tool GYA. Set a firm boundary: no contact for thirty days. She can't text you (tell her that if she does you'll delete it un-read...then actually DO that), you can't text her, no one gets to get their panties in a wad (publicly) over the other person's activities (or choice of date, friend, hang-out partner). After thirty days, when the initial sting of the breakup has died down, you're allowed to have contact again, but not before.

The key point here, GYA is that you're broken up. The BSG will tell you what other people have undoubtedly also told you: people often get back together after a brief breakup.  But the BSG is that guy who tells you the whole story: you broke up for a reason and if nothing has changed the reason is still there and it will get back in the middle of your relationship again; probably soon. By the way, feeling sorry is NOT actually a change.  Thinking differently is a change.

So there it is GYA: thirty days. You can do it and you'll thank the BSG. Plus, if after thirty days, you and your Delicate Flower DO get back together, you'll appreciate each other even more.  If not...welcome to the club.