Mixed-Paycheck Relationships

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I am dating an incredible guy and so far we have hit it off very well but I am concerned because we also are pretty different financially.  I scrape up change to buy a Bud Light and he parties with Dom Perignon.  I want to be my own man and support myself and also be with a man I can love.  I know he loves to travel and I do too, but I can not keep up with him on the kind of destinations he wants to go to.

I don’t want to be a Bitter Single Guy (no offense) anymore. I really want to share my life with a man.  Falling Hard For Him

Dear FHFH: The Bitter Single Guy completely understands your beer and champagne issue…he himself has been on both sides of that bar and neither side is fun. Once, when the BSG was just a young sapling, he dated a trust-fund baby who had not ever really had to work. At first the BSG believed that this was the nirvana of dating! Ah to be that young and naïve again.  Now, as the BSG has become more of a gnarled old oak, he has sometimes been able to foot more of the bill than his date and that has its own set of issues.  The key point here, FHFH is that this isn’t fun for either party. 

The BSG will assume that you have taken the appropriate step of telling your Bewitching Buck how you feel, yes? The BSG is certain you’ve told him about your concerns so the two of you can manage any issues honestly and openly as the come up, yes?  No?  FHFH, you know where the BSG is going here.  If you haven’t had the conversation, for God’s sake man root around in your gym bag until you find your spine and use it to have the appropriate although difficult conversation with Bewitching Buck.

If you have already taken this very appropriate and very adult step, the BSG applauds you!  Unfortunately, he doesn’t think it will matter much in the long run.  Mixed-paycheck relationships rarely work out without someone choosing to live with the constant feeling of worthlessness and emasculation.  Good luck FHFH.