Even Beautiful People Need Help

 Dear Bitter Single Guy: I'm a gorgeous (sorry for being egotistical) model/actress in need of some advice. I am currently "involved" with a married guy, but because of his "television celebrity status" he wants to keep our relationship discreet. He goes through women like tissues, and although I have slept with him once before, now he refuses to see me unless it's a threesome. But I really just want him for myself. He is married, but obviously that isn't an issue for him. Is he no longer attracted to me? -- I Want It All

Dear IWIA: The Bitter Single Guy is pleased that one of the Truly Beautiful people actually read his column and look to him for advice! Wow IWIA, this is a momentous moment for the BSG, so he needs just a moment to catch his breath. You're a gorgeous model/actress and you're "involved with" a television star?! Of course, you're also a pathetic doormat, but hey, at least you're gorgeous!

Yes, IWIA, the BSG said pathetic doormat. Readers, take note. Let's all assume for a moment that IWIA is in fact a gorgeous (although apparently also egotistical) actress/model who is involved with a (no doubt also gorgeous) television star. Let's assume that some of us have watched her on Entertainment Tonight, on Leno or heaven forbid on Larry King and that we have been slightly or maybe even droolingly envious of her. Yes, let's all assume that together, shall we?

IWIA's Bodacious Beau will only be with her as part of a threesome. He's married (which is not an issue for him…gracious, why should it be?). Oh, and he wants to keep their "relationship" discreet.

IWIA, listen. Please find a mental health professional or some other person willing to tell you the truth and not kiss your ass. Do this now; today. Your issue is self esteem, not relationships.