Charmingly Annoyed
Dear Bitter Single Guy,
I've known a guy in a very Harry-Met-Sally-esque sort of way for about ten years. We've been seeing each other steadily eight months. The problem is that he's annoying…very annoying. And very charming, too, but while he manages to keep me from hating him, lately he hasn't done very much to make me actually love him.
It could be that we're spending too much time together, or it could be that we are actually too different in matters like religion to get along in the long term.
He thinks I'm wonderful and wants to get married eventually, but how can I know if I really love this guy despite his annoyances, great and small?
Annoyed or Charmed
Dear A.O.C.,
Well the Bitter Single Guy thinks you need to investigate other relationships to understand this one A.O.C. Normally, the B.S.G. would delicately point out that all relationships have both their ups AND their downs and that, as unnatural as it may seem to spend your entire LIFE with one single other human, one has to expect that there will be some minor annoyances. The B.S.G. might also wonder if you were just recently past the first blush of he-can-do-no-wrong and suddenly finding normal human foibles in your beau?
None of that seems to apply to you A.O.C.! You've known this gentleman for ten years, are you just finding out about this annoyance or has it been around for the entire decade? OK, OK, the B.S.G. knows that you came to him for answers, so he'll take a stab.
A.O.C., take the following quiz: Imagine your pet (the B.S.G. is assuming you have one, if not, imagine a plant. If you don't even have a plant, you're not fit to enter into a relationship with another human). Do you also find your pet both annoying and charming? What about your best friend? Annoying and charming, too? You get where the B.S.G. is heading here, he's sure of it. If your relationships are characterized by this dichotomy, embrace your gentle beau knowing that he is falling right into place. If your other relationships lack that annoying edge, the B.S.G. recommends keeping your resume posted in hopes you can get someone a little less irritating.
B.S.G.