Chasing the Dream

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I met a girl in my first year of college, had an immediate crush and lost my virginity (Hooray!). Things went downhill from there, though. She said I was too immature (she's 2 years older than me) and started going out with my friend. Now, I've been dating my current girlfriend for three years, but I still can't shake my crush on this girl! What should I do?! -- Dancing the Grim Fandango of Love

Dear DGFL: The Bitter Single Guy has a tough time empathizing with his readers who are hung up on their first love (or first nookie, as is your situation). The BSG himself clearly recalls his first love and has a certain warm affection for that memory, just as he does for the memory of his childhood hamster; Herbie. The BSG clearly understands that those feelings of love (and Herbie, for that matter) are long gone.

So, what is it that's holding you up, DGFL? Is this Older Woman still around? Is seeing her keeping these old feelings alive? Probably the Older Woman won't find you immature three or four years later, right? Clearly the answer here is to dump your current (and probably perfectly nice) girlfriend of three years in order to pursue your ancient, withered crush.

Of course there is the distant possibility that she is not pining away for you and by your inability to see that the grass is NOT greener on the other side of that fence you will find yourself all alone. When that happens, please write back to the Bitter Single Guy.