Cheaters Never Prosper
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have been with the same girl for 5 years. We live together, are planning to be married in 6 months, and I am now getting cold feet.
In addition to all the normal things that cause cold feet, I had an affair with a younger girl for over 6 months. It was mostly sex, but we got along pretty well too. I also had an affair with an older woman that lasted about 2 months. Should I marry a person if I can willingly cheat on her? I constantly desire unfamiliar women, and want to know if I will always be this way, or am I just with the wrong person. My fiancé treats me right, and we want a lot of the same things (children, family, sex), but at times I could see giving it all up for one good lay. Please help! -- Can’t Keep it in my Pants
Dear CKIMP: The Bitter Single Guy believes, as do the friends of Bill W., that the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. Good for you for reaching out CKIMP! For that reason, the BSG will soften the lashing you so richly deserve.
So here’s the softer version of that lashing. Short answer: should you marry a girl you’re so willing to cheat on? No. Gracious CKIMP, no.
The BSG will tell you however that this is definitely not about you being with the wrong person (although some might believe your fiancé is with the wrong person). This is actually about immaturity…specifically yours. Making the choice to be in a committed relationship means (the BSG can’t believe he has to clarify this, but apparently you were raised by wolves) making the choice to not diddle all the folks with whom you are not in a committed relationship. So, engagement rings and reception hall deposits not withstanding, you are NOT currently in a committed relationship CKIMP. Your lovely fiancé might be, but you certainly missed that boat with younger 6-month-girl and older 2-month-girl. And believing that you could toss aside all the promise of a lifetime of marital bliss for one good lay, cements you as only barely out of puberty in the BSG’s eyes.
CKIMP, there is always the likelihood that you will, in a bad movie sort of way, learn a powerful lesson just in time for your wedding and you and your Beloved will live happily ever after in your monogamy, but the BSG (and you) believe it’s much more likely that you will marry this girl, then freak out more than you are now. Which will be immediately be followed by a string of affairs that are likely to land you on Dr. Phil with a caption under your face that says “Can’t Keep It In His Pants”. Grow the hell up and call it off until you can actually commit. Sheesh.