How Long is Long Enough?

Dear Bitter Single Guy: My girlfriend dumped me about two months ago after being together almost two years.  Is there some mathematic equation to tell me how long is long enough to wait before I date again?  - Watching My Clock

Dear WMC: The Bitter Single Guy is going to briefly channel Miss Manners (one of his favorite columnists) and appreciate that you believed that there IS an acceptable timeline during which you should grieve for the abrupt loss of your Charming Chickadee. Unfortunately though, there is no such timeline. There is however, something to consider.

Your next date, whether she be this week or next year, is almost certainly going to be your Rebound Relationship.  The BSG has told you and all his readers for years that denying the existence of the Rebound Relationship doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. On the contrary, denying the existence of the Rebound Relationship undoubtedly means that you'll be doomed to Rebound after Rebound after Rebound (and gracious...no one wants that).

WMC, the BSG's advice is to date soon.  Pick someone that you like, but not that you like a lot.  Fully embrace the Rebound Relationship and treat this new delicate flower as trashily as you undoubtedly believe you've been treated.  Then, when you've moved past her, prepare to date again for real as soon as the dust settles.