Listen to your cold feet

 I've been engaged for six months and for at least two of those I've been wondering if I did the right thing. Neither she nor I have EVER dated anyone else (we're early 20s), we rarely go anywhere with my friends or her friends, she calls me more often than I'm comfortable with despite numerous attempts to change that, and lately I've begun noticing things that we don't have as much in common as I thought we did. She's fine and happy and doesn't think anything is wrong. I'm starting to wonder if the four years of dating and the not-so-thinly-veiled hints to commit pushed me into proposing. Believe me, there's a lot to love about her or I wouldn't have proposed--I'm just having serious doubts. -- Engaged and Confused

Dear EAC: So, you're in your early 20's, have never dated anyone else, and you're having doubts? First, the Bitter Single Guy is going to say bluntly what your friends and family have been afraid to tell you: get out of this relationship. No matter how wonderful your fiancé, no matter how devoted you are, no matter how many romantic comedies you've watched where high school sweethearts love each other forever, the chances of this relationship resulting in anything other than drama and heartache are about the same as the chance that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will live happily ever after (which is to say, NO chance…sorry Tom, someone had to say it).

EAC, if you're having second thoughts, this is probably the same instinct that makes you back away from speeding traffic so you don't get mowed down. Listen to the instinct, get your shit and get out. Date other folks, have some flings, meditate for a year, then see if she's available to go out for a frozen yogurt.