Looking For the Real You

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I've been a bitter single girl for some time now. Friends, coworkers, and roommates all adore me, pester me for coffee and dinner dates, savor my company like fine wine, then promptly leave me to marry someone else. I lack obvious physical or emotional defects, so am confused by this. I feel like the perpetual transition woman who convinces men that they really enjoy having a steady companion, and that maybe marriage isn't so bad. I express interest in these men, so it's not like I've not been clear. Any advice? -- Bitter Single Chick

Dear B.S.C.: The Bitter Single Guy has also found himself as everyone's constant companion, but no one's snuggle-bunny. So, based on his own experience and his wealth of knowledge about other people's pathology, the B.S.G. will go way out on a limb, here. Is it possible, B.S.C., that all these folks who clamor for your attention are experiencing the persona, or the mask, and not the "real" you? (The Bitter Single Guy knows he is getting a tiny bit woo-woo here) When you express interest in some gentleman, do you hear "I just don't think of you that way"? If so, the B.S.G. proposes that your outgoing, festive self is connecting with these dudes, making them crave your company, but you have managed to prevent them from connecting with you in a more intimate "I wanna do you" sort of way. So, the B.S.G.'s advice: choose a different persona, travel to a different city and go out to meet people with your new persona. Heck, try out several in several different cities (Greyhound has great fares if you travel mid-week). When you land on the one that seems to inspire men to throw themselves at your feet in that special way, take that one back home (the persona, not the man) and start honing it until you've captured some poor slob. Good luck and happy mask-ing-- B.S.G.