Bitter Single Guy Prescribes Ice Cream

 Dear Bitter Single Guy: I've been friends with a woman for two years and our relationship bumped up a level last month. We've been sleeping together, cuddling, even planning a vacation together. Last night she told me (after I prodded) that I'm not the one. I drove her home and told her never to contact me again. I've lost a friendship and a lover in one swoop. How could she so easily become intimate and still feel the way she does? Did I miss something? Left Out in The Cold

Dear LOTC: The Bitter Single Guy feels your pain, brother. Seriously. The BSG is mystified by the whole attraction-and-falling-in-love thing. Two people of some gender combination meet, connect, and begin hanging out. Person One is head over heels and Person Two is interested, but cautious. Then Person Two wakes up in the middle of the night and finds that he's in Love! (Capital letter Love is much more serious than lower case love) So, Person Two expresses his newfound Love only to find that Person One has come off her infatuation and is in a comfortable rut; perhaps feeling some lower case love, but pretty freaked out by Person Two's sudden change.

LOTC, learning that your intended doesn't have the passion, heat, mojo, or whatever that you do is quite the self-esteem blow. Similarly, knowing that your date is WAY more in love than you are has its own level of squirmy, almost pitying, discomfort.

LOTC, your Dazzling Dandelion didn't have a last minute change of heart: she found you to be a safe haven while she continues her search for The One. The BSG supports your decision to kick her to the curb if all she wants is to pass time with you. Eat much ice cream LOTC, it cools the sting of rejection.