Relationship Waffling

Dear B.S.G.,

I recently got dumped by my girlfriend. Her excuse for leaving me was that she wanted me to get my shit back on track... that I'm not working enough anymore and I ride my motorcycle way too much and go to the lake and hang out with my friends too much and now she needs some time and space. Well, the fact of the matter is that the night before she broke up with me, we were on our bed (we lived together) and she basically went on and on about how much she loved me and how she's never had a love greater than mine compared to any other relationship she's ever had in her entire life. And no, we weren't in the middle of sex, in fact we didn't even have sex that night.

But to make a long story short, we've been broken up for roughly a month, she moved out too because I kicked her out... but then when I begged her not to move, she still wanted to move. She also didn't know what was going to happen between us but made me promise that we would always be the best of friends no matter what!!!

So for two weeks after, I tried to call her and hang out with her but she would never make time and give me lame excuses. So once I stop calling her out of frustration and anger, she would call me and tell me she misses me and loves me. So I don't get it, how do I get her back? Should I want her back? Does she still love me? Does she want me back? What's going on? HELP!!!

-I Don't Know If I'm Coming or Going.

Dear I.D.K.I.I.C.O.G.,

To summarize, if that's possible at this point, I.D.K.I.I.C.O.G., the B.S.G. is hearing that 1. She dumped you, but you kicked her out. 2. You're not working, hanging out at the lake with your friends and riding your motorcycle, and yet she seems to need more space. 3. When you call her you get lame excuses, but when you don't call her, she tells you she misses and loves you. Does the B.S.G. have it right so far, I.D.K.I.I.C.O.G.?

The B.S.G. believes that both you and your erstwhile girlfriend need to shit-or-get-off-the-pot! Neither of you seem to be able to figure out what you want in this twisted soap opera. OK, I.D.K.I.I.C.O.G., here it is. Be a man. Cut all ties. Tell her that you care about her, but think that the two of you need real time apart in order to fully appreciate each other (if you ever will). Then DON'T call, and don't see her for 6 months. Then, if you feel you can act like an adult, you may call her.

B.S.G.