Bitter Single Guy Soothes the Jilted

 Dear Bitter Single Guy: I dated a guy for over a year and a half, then he left for college 2 hours away. We fell apart but of course "he really did love me it just wasn't working". The sad part is that we had been best friends, did everything together, all that jazz. He wanted to stay friends so we talked online sometimes, visited and did some canoodling. Then one random day when he was in town I told him I missed him and he said "I know we dated for a long time but I thought you would be over it by now". Do you know what the hell that's about? - Bitter As Hell

Dear BAH: The Bitter Single Guy sadly DOES know what the hell that's about. Your Captivating Chap is done with your relationship and rather than being manly about it, he's using the long distance thang as the stick with which to beat you. The Bitter Single Guy is interested in hearing from his Faithful Readers about this one, because he fears he's way TOO bitter here. The "let's be friends" crowd, which incidentally is also the dumpER crowd, is annoying the BSG to the point that he wants to angrily pull their nose hairs out one by one until they cry. The dumpER has had the chance to plan his strategy, create a support system, and get ready for life without the dumpEE. The dumpEE, in comparison, has to do all her grieving and healing after the fact. So, for the dumpEE (Your Captivating Chap in this instance, BAH) to tell the dumpER that he wants to be friends is cruel and heartless behavior that should be rewarded with the aforementioned nose-hair removal.

BAH, you've been dumped. Don't be his friend, don't canoodle, don't talk online. Take time for yourself and get over this Captivating Chap.