A Tough Job with Good Benefits

Dear Bitter Single Guy,

At what point in a relationship to you decide to give up or go on? i have dated this one guy on and off for about 4 1/2 years. 9 months ago, we broke up (at his wishes) to see other people. We decided to keep a "friends with benefits" thing going with the rule that we must be brutally honest about our other relationships to each other.

So 9 months have passed, and we are still exclusive, yet labeled as single, and we have probably the best relationship ever; but he still doesn't want to go back to being exclusive, which is okay with me, I just get confused. He gets jealous and protective every time I even mention meeting a new guy, and he always wants to hang out, even if it's really just as friends.

I love doing stuff with him, he's my best friend, but I encourage him to have other relationships and have even suggested how to approach certain girls he likes. He's great and I'd hate to lose him as a friend or more. Do I keep going (potentially for years) with this sort of relationship, or would it be best to change this something in this set up? In short, do I give it up or go on with it?

-frustrated friend with benefits

Dear F.F.W.B.,

Although the Bitter Single Guy feels your pain (as he feels everyone's relationship pain) he has no nurturing advice for you. "Friends with benefits", F.F.W.B.? Are you really going to tell the B.S.G. that this is anything other than BOTH of you getting your jollies while not making an actual commitment?

F.F.W.B., you don't fool the Bitter Single Guy. You tell him that you're OK with the current arrangement and this gentleman's companionship is important to you because he's your Friend. That's a crock of slightly spoiled jam, F.F.W.B. You want this beau to come to his senses and declare his undying love for you so you can go about the business of being Happy Ever After. You're each using each other and are afraid of what to do next. If you want a f***buddy, keep seeing this guy. If you want to be an adult and have a relationship, dump him WITHOUT benefits.

B.S.G.